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Friday, December 12, 2008

TweetThis! Howdy Air Tizedi?

Majuzi hivi niliandika kuhusu habari mbaya ya Shirika la Ndege la Tanzania  ambayo ilinikumbusha kupekenyua kabrasha langu kutafuta barua pepe fulani inayosomeka:
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain Matata Mkumbukwa welcoming you on board Air Tizedi. We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and some overtime I had to put in at the bakery and my poultry farm.

This is flight 126 to Dar es salaam.
Landing in Dar es salaam is not guaranteed, but we may end up somewhere in the south. If luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village of destination! Air Tz has an excellent safety-record. In fact our safety standards are so high that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us!

It is with great pleasure, I announce that since starting this year, over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off!

To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary Bongo Chai, Bibi biscuits and groundnuts! For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from ITV. But for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Mwenge cinema, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.

There is no smoking allowed in this plane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down!

In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off And fasten your seatbelt. For those of you who can't find a seatbelt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat ...and for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase."

On behalf of myself and the rest of the cabin crew, Enjoy Air Tized and we wish you a nice flight.

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